


Of Blood, Rust and Royalty

by Strigentine



Category: FriendSim - Fandom, Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Bad memes, Canon-Typical Violence, Choose Your Own Adventure, Gen, Hiveswap: Friendsim, Illustrated, Illustrations, and good times, but not really, however poorly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-08-03 07:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strigentine/pseuds/Strigentine
Summary: It's all gotta end sometime.





	1. >Of Blood, Rust and Royalty

The end is drawing to a close around you. You’re not entirely sure what that means, but you can feel it. The number of potential friends is limitless, but you feel you’ve hit the bottom of some unknown well of options. With your entire driving focus and purpose for being on Alternia being FRIENDSHIP, you’re unsure of what this means for you.

This should come as no surprise though, as nothing can last forever. It would make sense then that your alien escapades too would be numbered to a set number of volumes. And on a planet where everything is out to eliminate you, you’re lucky to have lasted this long.

Standing on the precipice of your FRIENDSHIP swan song, you make a final decision.

 

 

[?????? ??????](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322015/chapters/38636270)

OR

[?????? ??????](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322015/chapters/38186033)


	2. >?????? ??????

Before you can even think what to do, a fleet of drones descend upon you. These drones are somewhat unlike the kinds of which you’ve narrowly rubbed elbows with in the past. Their figures are more hulking and jagged than any of the others you’ve seen. Every joint is laden and gilded with gold and they have pink accents covering their carapace.

Disregarding your struggling, they carry you through the air at a startling speed. Well, this is it, you think. It’s been a good run, but you could only delay the inevitable for so long. And you don’t think they’ll be dropping you off at troll jail for Tirona to spring you again. No, you think you’ve lost your jail privileges and you’re getting a heaping helping of public execution. Still, that’s awfully considerate when you take into account that they’d have complete authority to just cull you on the spot with no spectacle to be made about it. And hey, you’d be able to see all your friends one last time. Even if it was from the other side of a screen.

Wow, accepting death sure isn’t the crisis it used to be. So you’re caught a little off-guard when the drones make a sudden turn toward a port. Burial at sea? That sounds like something of an honor on this planet, when all the bougie fucks live down there. But no such thing was in your cards as it turns out, as they deposit you in front of a building that looks like some sort of… transportation terminal?

You’re greeted by a massive purpleblood who makes short work of picking you up and tossing you into some machine, like a jaded worker on a conveyor belt. He gives you a lazy wave as he slams the door shut. Just outside of the small window on the door, you manage to watch as he pulls an equally massive lever and the shuttle begins to lurch. Before you know it, you’re propelling through the water. Wow! What the hell!

It is then that a subtle clearing of the throat makes you aware that you are not within this bathysphere alone. A sea-dweller, a violetblood to be precise, is sitting on one of the seats. She hardly looks up from her tablet to acknowledge you further. You begin to say hi, but she stops you with a solid hand as she keeps tapping away at something. There is an awkward silence for what exceeds measurements of time, it seems. You do your best to crane your neck to get a look at what’s on her tablet. She seems to be on social media. You think you make out that her name is… Krivea Jeedic? Something like that. She snatches the screen out of view when she notices you gaping at it.

Finally, you ask what’s going on. She’s a bit exasperated, but is also familiar with the mere delay of inevitability.

KRIVEA?: You’re being summoned for court with the heiress.

A jury summons, you explode. You’re not even a legal citizen of Alternia, and yet you’ve been given a task like jury duty?

KRIVEA?: Don’t be stupid. I don’t efin know what a “jury” is, but you’d never get one. Unless maybe it’s some sort of torture.

Kind of!

KRIVEA?: I’m here to make sure you don’t escape. Not that you’d get very far if you did, but we spent enough time tracking you down. We’d all get culled if we let it go to waste. And there’s no bigger shame than to have to needlessly spill violet.

You ask where you’re going, and if it couldn’t be done somewhere more convenient, like, you know, dry land? She makes a disgusted noise and puts on a face to match.

KRIVEA?: We’d never waste our time doing something like that. The purples take care of the land shit. We beach ourselves sometimes, but royalty never comes to you. You come to royalty.

KRIVEA?: This is unprecedented, acshelly. No land-dweller or mutant has ever come to the palace in recorded history.

KRIVEA?: So you must be pretty special.

KRIVEA?: #LOL

That’s all well and good, you say, but you still don’t know what it means! She stops responding, having exhausting her tolerance to speak to an alien. Things return to the silence of her tapping on her tablet, the aquatic sounds outside, and the mechanical noises of the bathysphere. So, you guess, not very silent at all.

The ride takes hours on hours, but the bathysphere slowly comes into view of a monumental structure. Some sort of pink shell. As the pod grows closer and closer, the violetblooded girl whose name may or may not be Krivea Jeedic, hands you a suit.

Ah, you’d recognize one of these babies anywhere, even if it had a strangely spacious dome. It was a scuba suit! You guessed that the extra space was to accommodate for horns. You never really considered whether or not things on Alternia had to be multi-accessible for a variety of horn types. Or were those who were exceptionally endowed just on their own?

Once you’re in the suit, Krivea? puts a pair of golden handcuffs around the gloves. You guess you’re really not allowed to escape, even if you wanted to. Not to get yourself wrong, you’re no fan of any sort of meeting with highbloods, particularly when it kicks off with kidnapping, but you can’t say you aren’t intrigued. After all, these are completely uncharted waters. Pun intended.

She forces you out of the bathysphere and walks you up to the main entrance. No need for gates, you guess, when anyone could just swim over them. The place is decked with drones and violetbloods in golden armor wielding spears. You wish you had the vocabulary to describe the level of ritziness this place has. The level of excess would have disgusted the comparatively modest sensitivities of Louis XIV.

Golden candlesticks in the form of an unfamiliar troll were studded with gems like a bedazzling gun had gone haywire. A fountain of the same troll spat a steady stream (a fountain under water? What kind of liquid was even being used to make the flow possible?) onto figures of lowblood common masses. The chandelier had candelabras branching off of it. The chairs were so plush one might get lost in them if they sat down. There was even a fireplace— a fireplace in the foyer. Underwater. An underwater fireplace. Did you mention the amount of gems tacked onto absolutely everything? You may as well have been staring up at the night sky for all the refracted light threatening to scorch your corneas.

You are then led up a long series of spiral staircases, along which you become privy to countless more flights of rooms which were each even gaudier than the last. All this until at long last you arrive to a great set of doors. The doors themselves a rich tyrian, with golden symbols on their faces. Krivea? opens them for you and escorts you inside.

Unbelievably (although completely believable given what you’ve just been witness to) inside is a needlessly long hallway with a pink runner spanning from the door, far across to the foot of a throne. The hall is so long, in fact, that you nearly can’t see the end of it due to the curvature of the planet. You are led down the hall past several golden statues of the same troll you’ve been seeing since your arrival until you reach the throne.

Standing, her feet shoulder length apart, hands clasped in front of her waist, is a troll of a blood color you have never seen before. Her clothes are grounded from the levels of gaudiness that the rest of the palace was subject to by the prominence of black in her palette. You suddenly recognize her as the model for all of the ostentatious decorations within the palace. It's then that you also make a connection. You've seen her face before now. Plastered on posters, on billboards, on paintings in hives. You've seen her likeness countless times, but never really found out who she was. And now she stands smiling with fuchsia pink lips, motionless, hands still clasped. The water begins to drain from the chamber, and you and she are locked in a staring contest while the water levels lowered. Seconds more pregnant and awkward than any of the ones which passed during your trip with Krivea?. Once they finish, you are urged to remove the suit. You do as you are told. It is only then that she speaks for the first time.

??????: you knoΨ i had to do it to you

[>Laugh.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322015/chapters/38453078)

[>Don’t laugh.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322015/chapters/38226857)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krivea Jeedic? is supposed to be a reference to Cridea Jeevik, but I'm not confident she hasn't been scrapped, and I also don't want to step on her creators toes by just tossing their scrapped troll in the fic. She fills a spot that could have been occupied by any filler character. So I chose an obscured reference character.


	3. >Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it was her meme, mr. krabs!!!  
> she was #2!!!

You don’t think that laughing in the face of royalty is the best idea, but your nerves have gotten to you. Why is she standing like that? She held the pose for the longest time— was she trying to impress you? She had this big introduction in her mind to make herself look cool? And you can’t be certain, but from the tone of her voice, you just know she meant it as a joke somehow? Like someone who can’t go a single serious conversation without memeing it up. She has you kidnapped, makes you sit in a bathysphere for hours with her antisocial secretary, has you wheeled through her testimonial to “most conceited person on the planet, and likely several others,” sit in dead uncomfortable silence while she stares you down… just to say that? Of all the escapades you’ve been on on this planet, of all the laws you’ve broken and all the rebels you’ve helped, she can’t even say “what” she’s doing to you? That’s all she has to say to you? It’s ludicrous, and you find yourself busting your guts with hilarity.

You fear for your life, but the nerves are just too much. You can’t stop laughing. You’re making an absolute fool of yourself. It’s a weird sensation. To fear imminent death while overwhelmed with the jovial laughter of frivolity. This must have been exactly how the Joker’s victims felt. But when you peer upwards, through your tears you can see that she’s actually smiling. A sincere, if not arrogant smile.

??????: noΨ that’s more like it

KRIVEA?: A young woman stands before you in her throneroom. It just so happens that this young woman is the heiress apparent to the throne of Her Imperious Condescension: Trizza Tethis. Cod, don't we all wish that were us.

After this, Krivea? takes a seat nearby and returns to her tablet. She only speaks up every now and then to offer some insipid comment or other.

TRIZZA: Ψho Ψould have thought a filthy offspec alien Ψould have good taste

TRIZZA: ΨoΨ

KRIVEA?: Much culture. So surprise.

You assure her that you have only the best taste. Second only to herself, of course. Since, and it takes great effort to suppress the vomit of your lie, it’s so apparent in her interior design.

TRIZZA: bold of you to assume this even lives up to my standards

That vomit is becoming harder to hold back.

TRIZZA: lemme take care of the talking tho

TRIZZA: you’re the one Ψhat's been getting chum-my Ψith my subjects right

TRIZZA: you’re like a local celebrity

TRIZZA: Ψould almost convince me to spare you

TRIZZA: but Ψe stan legends only here

TRIZZA: and no amount of internet fame could absolve you of your existence

TRIZZA: i can’t stand for an alien getting aquainted with all the peasants and just ignoaring the heiress

TRIZZA: Ψhich is Ψhy ima get a hot promo Ψith some shellfies and a livechirp culling

So she wanted to meet you for social media status? That’s a great honor coming from the heiress. And it’s not like you were shunning her, you mean, she would have been the first troll you befriended if you’d even known a way to find her. Yeah, totally. You’re sure the collab could even be good for your following too! But, uh, what was that about a culling?

TRIZZA: #LOL AS IF

KRIVEA?: #Reality check

TRIZZA: i don't care about frondship

TRIZZA: i just can’t be left out of the latest craze

TRIZZA: i MAKE the craze

KRIVEA?: Trizza’s all about the craze. She *is* the craze.

TRIZZA: totally craze-y

You chuckle.

TRIZZA: that Ψasn’t a joke

Oh.

TRIZZA: and i'm the queen of culling tΨo mutants Ψith one trident

TRIZZA: so if i can get in on the latest “friendship meme” AND exterminate you

TRIZZA: eels good man

You’re personally offended by Trizza simplifying friendship to a meme, to a fad to chase, but you bite your tongue. There’s no way it’d go swimmingly to vocalize your annoyance to the heiress. Oh, coddam-it, now you’re doing the fish pun thing too! It's like the verbal equivalent of someone wearing way too much perfume; and you're sure she'd have that covered too if it wouldn't just get washed off by seawater.

TRIZZA: truth be told nothing Ψould bring me more pleashore than culling you on the spot

TRIZZA: but that’s just not galaxy brain energy

TRIZZA: you, a dumbass: execution

TRIZZA: me, an intellectual: opportunaty

TRIZZA: you’ve made fronds with all kinds of trolls ain’t you

TRIZZA: legislacerators in training

TRIZZA: subjuggulators

TRIZZA: future threshecutioners

TRIZZA: suspected rebels

You only know what a few of those things are, but sure!

TRIZZA: so Ψhy don’t you tell me about those fronds you’ve met

Oh! Well, if it’s stories she wants, then you’ve got a lot of those. There was your first ever friend, Ardata. She made you stab her hand with a screwdriver! There was that other time with Tegiri where you went to the shop and joined anime club. You met with Chahut, and you think you became an honorary clown? Oh, it might interest Trizza to know that you assisted Remele in stealing art. That’s a juicy dish, right? Or maybe how Lynera kidnapped you? Oh, uh… and… you competed in a battle royale with Azdaja. You fought lusus-wranglers— TWICE. You also met two of Trizza’s biggest fans. For the longest time you thought she was a part of his relationship. Oh, and that one time with Mallek you—

TRIZZA: ima keep it reel Ψith you chief

TRIZZA: i don’t care about any of that shit

Oh… well, what kind of stories would she like to hear?

TRIZZA: tensions are rising

Like tides?

TRIZZA: I’M talking >3:(

TRIZZA: there’s talk of a rebellion on the horizon

TRIZZA: a fleet of rebels rising up

TRIZZA: i run a tight ship but rebels?

TRIZZA: slipping under my radar?

TRIZZA: it’s more likely than you think

TRIZZA: there’s no way they pose any kind of real threat but i Ψanna show i don’t tolerate that shit

TRIZZA: Ψhen i’m the empress i Ψill demand total respect

TRIZZA: and i ain’t gonna have that if i just let this go unchecked

TRIZZA: i need to set an example

TRIZZA: like… SHE did

You ask who she’s referring to, but she silences you with a swift “talk-to-the-hand.”

TRIZZA: Ψhich is Ψhy you need to cooperate Ψith me

TRIZZA: Ψith you as an informant i can cut the line on this bullshark

You’re not really sure what to tell her, or what she wants to hear. Well, obviously Trizza wants you to narc on your friends, but you can’t do that. Or rather, you won’t do that. Blood is thicker than water, no matter how much of it she’s surrounded by.

You tell her that you really don’t have anything else to report than what you already have. Illegal anime deals, art theft, kidnapping, internet snuff films. It wouldn’t even be beneficial to her to mention Dieman’s situation, and Kuprum and Mallek’s hacking isn’t exactly something she’d be able to track if they were on their games. Not that you’d tell her anyway. And you’d certainly never throw Tyzias and Stelsa’s cover. You tell her that there’s a lowblood sympathizer, but when you tell her that he’s an indigoblood her interest wanes. Darn. Not that you’d want to put your dearest, closest friend Zebruh on the hot seat. You’d totally never do that to him. You swear to her that your friendship soirees have only ever involved petty crimes at best, or the occasional empire-sanctioned massacre at worst. You've not heard hide nor tail of treason or rebellion among anyone you've interacted with.

For the first moment since you’ve met her, she lets loose a sign of weakness. Sadness. Disappointment. It doesn’t last long, but it’s noticeable all the same. She notices that you noticed and starts talking.

TRIZZA: i've gotta do SOMETHING before my ordeals

Oh, you’ve heard about those. Those are the trials freshly adult trolls go on before going into space or whatever, right?

TRIZZA: it’s kinda a gimme since i'm fuchsia

TRIZZA: but after that it’s gonna be a long trip into fuckall noΨhere outer space

TRIZZA: shore i've strengthened the social divide and class Ψarfare and amassed a giant soshell media following

TRIZZA: but i've gotta have SOMETHING more to shoΨ for myself other than being number 1 at memes

There’s a coughing from the corner of the room and you’re reminded of Krivea?’s presence for the first time in a whale.

TRIZZA: but hoΨ is she even gonna take me searious if i haven’t even accomplished a single effective genocide or global coup

You work up the nerve to finally ask her who she’s talking about. She gives you a condescending look before conceding an explanation. Weird that she’d humor your inquisitiveness, but at the same time, it can help to just unload onto someone who is completely uninvolved. And it’s not that odd when you think about it. Everyone you’ve come across on the planet has been inclined to just naturally open up to you. It’s kind of your deal.

TRIZZA: the empress ofc

Oh! You’ve heard about her! But only in passing mentions. You’d love to hear more about this fabled leader. You’ve found that the more you learn about troll culture, the more you ache to learn even more.

TRIZZA: she’s like my ancestor

TRIZZA: Ψell not leecherally, obvi

TRIZZA: Ψe don’t have the same symbol so the inheritance is strictly genetic

TRIZZA: Ψhich is a privilege (among many) i share over other trolls

Right… trolls are raised by lusii. And adult trolls only ever show up on the planet illegally. And you’ve never once heard any of the trolls talk about parents or genetic donors.

TRIZZA: so even tho i’ve got this crushing biological urge to kill her

TRIZZA: i also feel some kind of… connection to her

TRIZZA: a yearning for approval

TRIZZA: all the Ψhile i live in her shadoΨ and try to live up to her impossible standards

TRIZZA: it sucks

You mean like a mom.

TRIZZA: yeah yeah Ψhatebber

TRIZZA: i just don’t Ψanna be another faceless chumpy heiress lost to the tide

TRIZZA: ofc i'm gonna krill her and become the neΨ empress that's a foregone conchlusion

TRIZZA: but Ψill anyone RESPECT me?

TRIZZA: Ψorship… fear… mindless loyalty... is it Ψorth it Ψithout respect?

TRIZZA: that’s rhetorical don’t ansΨer

Well… maybe Trizza could just talk to the Empress about all this. She probably has no idea how Trizza feels! Barring that, maybe she could go and… er… ‘krill’ her now.

TRIZZA: #LOL

TRIZZA: one does not shrimply talk to the empress

TRIZZA: and she ain't easy to off if her track record's anyfin to goby

TRIZZA: i message her all the time but she never responds

TRIZZA: probubbly a result of being lightyears aΨay

TRIZZA: shell service can’t be great

Yeah, there's also that thing about the traveling of data as, like, signals through space. Contacting someone a few solar systems over would probably take a bit longer than someone a few countries over. Let alone lightyears.

TRIZZA: other trolls have millions of others to compare themshellves to and aspire to

TRIZZA: but she’s the only one i got to measure MYshellf up to

TRIZZA: espeshelly since she outlaΨed info on past empresses

TRIZZA: i just Ψant to get to knoΨ the only other troll like me

TRIZZA: it’s hard

TRIZZA: being royalty and groΨing up

TRIZZA: it’s hard and loΨbloods don’t understand

You tell her you under… well… actually you don’t. You have absolutely no idea what the hell she’s talking about. And between you and yourself, you don’t really care about her sobstory of My Life as a Teenage Dictator. You’ve seen the damage she’s caused to your friends and complete strangers. The danger she’s put you in. Not even your insatiable lust for friendship could bring you to feel a shred of empathy for this awful girl. But you can’t betray that sentiment. There’s still a chance of you getting out of here alive, and the more sympathetic she thinks you are, the better chance you have of escaping and not being killed on the spot. And who knows… it might give you an opportunity to change things. If she trusts you.

You tell her, instead, that maybe instead of comparing herself to the Empress, and trying to be like her, Trizza can be like herself instead.

TRIZZA: tch

TRIZZA: i Ψouldn’t expect an alien like you to understand the nuances of destincestry

Just then, you nearly see the light go off. She’s hatching an idea. She looks you up and down with a truly menacing smirk.

TRIZZA: you’re an alien rite

Y-yes, you stutter.

TRIZZA: hoΨ’d you get here

You tell her the sordid story about how you commandeered a rocketship from a nondescript facility and eventually crashed your ass on Alternia by mistake.

TRIZZA: all scared on an alien planet

TRIZZA: on trial in front of the heiress

TRIZZA: shaking like a boat in a storm

TRIZZA: you’re Ψeak, scared, and completely poΨerless

TRIZZA: but that’s none of my business

TRIZZA: you must really Ψanna go home don’t you

You didn’t realize this qualified as ‘on trial,’ and were pretty sure Krivea? had meant a different kind of court earlier, but yes, you do really want to go home.

TRIZZA: Ψell

TRIZZA: i just unloaded a Ψhole bunch of baggage

TRIZZA: vented a nasty underΨater volcano of raΨ emotion atcha

She sure did, and it seemed oddly uncharacteristic of a violent and bigoted princess.

TRIZZA: Ψhy don’t you let me return the favor by dropping you off at your planet

TRIZZA: I Ψon’t even cull ya since you Ψere such a good sport about helpin me out

TRIZZA: just get off my planet and stay off

TRIZZA: Ψe’re not really supposed to go off-planet until our ordeals

TRIZZA: but hey i'm royalty I can do Ψhat i Ψant

TRIZZA: and i Ψon’t tail if you don’t

She gives you a wink and awaits your answer.

You're nervous and your insides feel like they're going crazy. This is a big offer, even though you feel like it's only the illusion of choice she's giving you. But you still have to consider all of the ramifications of how you answer.

>Accept gratefully

>Accept suspiciously


	4. >Don't Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is so sad, gl'bygoylb, play despaseato

There’s a twinge in your throat, as though you might start laughing, but you suppress it because, truthfully, you’re more confounded than amused. What exactly did she “have to do” to you? Why was she so intent on holding that silly pose, all the while refusing to break eye contact?

You start with a brief introduction, because surely she cares who you are, or anything about you at all, for that matter. But going by her face, she is stupendously unimpressed. You even threw in those fancy words you’re supposed to use, what when confronted with royalty! Your highness. Your majesty. And even that new one you learned here on Alternia, ‘Her Imperiousness.’ But the longer you keep talking (and boy do you just not shut up), the more annoyed she gets. She’s amazingly patient in letting you finish, though, but it might just be because her face has turned such an irate shade of purplish pink that she can’t even hear what idiotic things you have to say anymore.

She speaks once you’ve finished your tirade.

??????: Ψhale. i've had enough of that

??????: guess you'll die

Suddenly your whole world goes bright with pain, but only momentarily. She has thrust her double-sided trident into your abdomen with considerable force. It doesn’t take very long at all for everything to go black; the spotlight of life fading and the curtains of your adventures slowly closing, heavy lids shutting out the world. As expected, you’ve been executed and your friendship shenanigans have been brought to an abrupt and authoritative end.

Have fun being horrorterror chow, buddy!


	5. >?????? ??????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> お前はもう死んでいる。

You roam around a bit longer, still unsure of what to do. By this point something’s usually found its way to you. It’s rare you have to actively seek friendship out yourself. So by now you’ve gone and went the risky and stupid route of wandering into a highblood neighborhood. And ah yes, as if on cue, you are greeted by an explosion.

Trolls scramble away in all directions, the dread of fear surrounding them. This is odd, though. Drones do not usually attack blueblood neighborhoods; they almost exclusively target the lowblood ones. Your curiosity outweighs any shred of common sense and you investigate to see what could possibly be going on. As you approach the carnage, you spot a rare sight in front of an inferno. An adult troll! Or if not, then one on the cusp of adulthood. Kind of like someone in their late twenties. An adult, but only just barely.

Adults are supposed to be even tougher than any of the trolls you’ve met before— even Konyyl froze up in the presence of one. You’re frozen in place, unsure whether by fear of the adult in front of you, or by the absolute hellfire she’s apparently rained down, incinerating countless hives.

Her hair sweeps down to her feet, which you notice now are not touching the ground but are instead levitating some odd feet above it. And her horns are simply massive, unlike any you have seen on a troll so far. Like a ram’s they are curved, but with way more mass than you could even imagine a ram bearing. Those things must be death on the neck. This, combined with the flames behind her, give off a kind of wicked satanic vibe.

She’s also wearing a dress in the style of a Chinese qipao, although it looks more like some chucklefuck’s idea of what they thought one looked like. As with most troll clothes, it is predominately black, but is accented with various dark green floral patterns. If past experiences have taught you much, you’d venture to guess that would be a clue to her caste. You’re not very familiar with the color, though. It looks to be something between oliveblood and jadeblood. Could she be a mutant?

If so, maybe she’s unleashing righteous justice on her oppressors. Then again, with all the destruction she could also be an assassin like Konyyl or Polypa! If that’s the case, then you actually stand a chance at friendship with this adult. You’re a mutant just like she is! There’s no way she’d just indiscriminately slaughter you. Sure, you’ve got some friends in some highblood places, but you’re totally… what did Kuprum call you? Cullbait? This is a totally choice friendship opportunity!

[>Run up to her like a dumbass.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322015/chapters/39368485)

[>Stare.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16322015/chapters/39367996)


	6. >Stare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you feel about my interpretation of the Handmaid? I'm not very proud of the quality but I really wanted to put something out. Probably not the best idea, I know.  
> Is there anything specific you'd like to see in her other routes? Anything specific you'd like to hear her talk about?

You continue watching her go about her business. Though there’s not much business to speak of. She’s just waggling a wand and stoking flames of already exploded hives. She actually looks incredibly bored judging by her lackadaisical movements. Like if burning ants with a magnifying glass were a chore your parents could give you.

Suddenly her head pops up, alert to a presence. Your presence She turns around to you, greeting you with the face of grief. It is not the grief of contrition, but grief toward life. An all-encompassing loathing and disinterest. You’re caught in that gaze only momentarily before everything around you changes. Your surroundings seem to glimmer ephemerally, opaque and jiggly like a bubble, before solidifying into a familiar setting. You suddenly find yourself in an alleyway, but the adult troll remains in front of you.

You let out a yelp of confusion and alarm, but she silences you. Her words are authoritative, but hold no intonation or emotion to speak of.

??????: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Her words crackle through your skull, stabbing into your brain with green electricity. You’re not sure why that specific comparison comes to mind, but it’s what feels appropriate. Although she’s speaking out loud, her words feel like they’re echoing inside your head.

??????: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

You say that you’re not sure! You were just in front of the hives and suddenly you’re here! You think that she’d be in a better position to answer that question.

??????: ON ALTERNIA

??????: DUMBASS

Oh. Well that’s an easier question to tackle. You crash landed in a stolen rocketship!

She stares at you. You can’t see her pupils, but you can tell she’s studying you. She’s thinking long and hard about something.

??????: YEAH

??????: BITCH

That was kind of uncalled for. You ask her politely if she could… uh… use her inside voice. She’s kind of giving you a headache.

??????: FUCK YOU

Is what she says, but her rainbow aura subsides and her eyes slowly stop their strobing and appear clearly as traditional troll eyes. Yellow sclera and all. It seems she's been rendered in a relatively more symbolic manner. Much better! You can see now that her irises have pigmented. Burgundy. So she’s a rusty! Actually, now that you're thinking about it, you can see a burgundy sign on her chest too. There's something extremely familiar about it. Have you seen it on Earth somewhere before?

You introduce yourself and say you’re very happy to meet her.

??????: i dont care

??????: youre here

??????: and thats a problem

You ask why. You could… just go somewhere else if she prefers.

??????: on alternia

??????: you shouldnt be here

Well, yeah, you know. You crashed here. You weren’t really supposed to be anywhere. You sure as hell weren’t supposed to be in that rocket ship but you got in it and pressed all the buttons you could reach until something happened.

??????: youre not here

Well now you’re just damn confused! Are you here or not?

??????: the problem is that you dont come here that i know any shit about

??????: so that means theres another goddamn mess for me to fix up

??????: we might not have deviated too far

She raises her wand but you shout out. Hey now! You can talk this out, right? Even if we’re only delaying the inevitable, can’t we at least have a nice conversation first? You mean, she could've just killed you on the spot but she took you here after all. You’re not sure what the deal is with you being here, or not being here, or Not being here, but you didn’t mean to inconvenience her!

She lowers the wand.

??????: i couldnt gargle two globes about it

??????: but its in my contract to maintain the alpha timeline

??????: but i guess if this was a problem

??????: doc bastard would have zapped your rocket away

??????: maybe youre just so insignificant paradox space dont give two shits about you

She has a way with words. A way with hurting you with them really badly.

??????: whatever it aint my problem

??????: ive got one job

??????: and aside from being boring youre not really preventing it

You could try to be… not boring. Why doesn’t she take a break and chew the proverbial fat with you? She looks like she could use a break. Her face is, and you mean this as friendly as possible, absolute hell.

??????: i wish i could say i dont have the time

??????: but the truth is im drowning in the shit

??????: to say i didnt have the time for something when multiple future versions of myself may in fact be taking care of shit at this exact moment in other places

??????: pulling from an absolutely goddamn bottomless wealth of extra time like infinitely replenishing candy in a dish with which to complete all my assignments

??????: would be a lie

??????: i dont get break privileges but slacking off will probably piss him off

??????: i can always just come back later and do something else somewhere else

??????: so fuck it

Yeah, fuck it!

You ask for her name once again.

??????: dont have one

Why not?

??????: he didnt give me one

Who?

??????: my employer

Her employer would have named her?

??????: he adopted (read: kidnapped)  me

So why not name her?

??????: i dont need one

??????: just to be able to do my job

Well, is there anything you can call her? So you can stop the awkward anonymous barrage of six question marks in your head?

??????: whos asking

Uh… you?

??????: by my bosses im called the handmaid

??????: real goddamn glamorous fuckin name

??????: but by the assholes on this planet im known as the demoness apparently

??????: so as you can see

??????: anything im called by is cursed to be shitty and stupid

That’s a pretty cool name, you think. Very metal.

??????: its not a title of respect or honor

??????: its of fear and hatred

??????: for bringing strife and mayhem every lousy era i poison with my presence

??????: real nice knowing no matter what im called is tinged by contempt

??????: being hated is my whole fucking identity

She could always try… not doing that. Maybe they’d call her something nicer. You can’t imagine being so mean would harbor a favorable moniker.

??????: its my job

??????: and my nature

??????: ive been doing it before i was even me

Uhh…?

??????: in another life

This sure is the most confusing friend you’ve ever almost made.

??????: he told me about her

??????: and her shitstain friends

Now you’re equal parts confused and invested. Maybe she could tell you a little more about herself? Maybe that would help frame all of this information so you could stop sticking your foot in your mouth with every step. Nothing about her seems conventionally trollish, which makes understanding her two times as hard.

??????: theres nothing to say

??????: im a bitch

??????: the end

Then maybe… she could tell you about the other her? And her shitstain friends?

??????: her name was damara

??????: and she was also a bitch

??????: the end

Okay… well, traditionally stories are a little more involved than that. They have… like… details.

You ask if it’s okay for you to call her Damara.

??????: i dont give a fuck

??????: but its a luxury i dont deserve

??????: since im just gonna do my job and die completely inconsequentially and nobody will even have known that some bitch called or not called damara ever existed or stopped existing

??????: and whatever lowlifes remember her sourly will only be annihilated by the inevitable armageddon thats eyeing up this shithole

??????: but thats just how it is on this turdodor of a fuckball

??????: seems like a shame and a waste giving a name to someone nobody will ever know or care about

Well you care and know about her!

But… Cool! Damara it is then. So what was the other Damara like?

DAMARA: she was east alternian

DAMARA: or the equivalent at least

DAMARA: and had a thick accent she really played up to fuck with her friends

Oh, so she’s like troll-Japanese? So there’s a… strange motif going on here.

DAMARA: eat my nook

DAMARA: but yeah

DAMARA: i dunno if he dressed me up like this to honor the past or satisfy some gross kink

DAMARA: basically she was nice and like

DAMARA: actually cared about being alive and shit

DAMARA: but then she didnt

Why… not?

DAMARA: her boyfriend cheated on her with a horsefucker and then the kid version of the empress made fun of her until her brain broke

DAMARA: and then she was so pissed that she paralyzed her boyfriend killed the childish empress and then spent the rest of her free time trying to ruin everything

DAMARA: so as you can see

DAMARA: it runs in the genes

That’s… not a very happy story. You’re really sorry that her life was like that… across multiple universes, you think?

DAMARA: being megido is suffering

DAMARA: does tragedy even bear consequence when nobody will remember it

DAMARA: anyway thats the that on that

DAMARA: nobody wants to hear me repeat old news

It's not old news to you though. You've never heard about Damara, or the childish empress, or the horsefucker.

DAMARA: you want me to lecture you about the other eleven ancestors of historical import while were at it

DAMARA: want me to infodump a copypaste detailing the nuances of troll romance

Yes!!! That would be so helpful for your specific perspective!

DAMARA: then it must suck to be you because im not fucking doing it

She seems like kind of a downer. It’s a good thing she met you! You can totally try to cheer her up.

DAMARA: thats a waste of your gradually dwindling predetermined amount of allotted time thats been excused to you for existence

DAMARA: all i crave and all i work toward is death

DAMARA: i deal in the death of others

DAMARA: for the payment of my own

Yeah… she’s mentioned some stuff about her job. But maybe she could elaborate? You’re not sure you understand her job.

DAMARA: back to old news

DAMARA: my job is to enslave myself to a checklist that will create just the right equation to end the universe

DAMARA: and once thats done

DAMARA: and ive prepared this planet with enough chaos and evil throughout history

DAMARA: and lord cockbite shows up

DAMARA: my work is done

DAMARA: someones got to be preparing all these goddamn fucking timelines

DAMARA: pain in the ass though truly it be

DAMARA: so thats what im doing

DAMARA: preparing all these

DAMARA: goddamn

DAMARA: fucking

DAMARA: timelines

Throughout history? So the impression you get is that she’s been pulling the strings behind the scenes to create certain outcomes that are favorable to some higher power at be. Do you have that right?

DAMARA: yeah

So she’s the one responsible for the rampant fascism on Alternia?

DAMARA: basically

Wow! Fuck her!

DAMARA: thats fair

DAMARA: but also

DAMARA: fuck YOU

Why doesn’t she just stop? If she knows it’s wrong then she shouldn’t do it. And if she screws over her bosses, it sounds like it’ll harm them a lot more than her.

She is about to acknowledge this, when she glances up at the moon. Seemingly something has caught her attention.

DAMARA: i gotta leave and move on to the next order of fucking business

DAMARA: nice wasting a few minutes of my endless dragging eternity with you

Wait! You call out. You’re so interested in this troll. Not just because she’s the first adult you’ve talked to, but she seems to know a lot about what’s going on. Maybe she could help explain what Marvus was trying to explain to you. Or help elaborate on Boldir’s theories. Maybe she could even help explain the nightmares you have of other alternative realities.

 

>Let her go

>Ask her to stay


	7. >Run up to her like a dumbass

The grip of apprehension freezing you in place earlier is defrosted by your motivation to befriend this adult troll. You’ve just gotta know more about her and you mean pronto! Without wasting a bit of time you lurch forward in a dash and yell out to her. You want to get her attention, and also let her know that you’re a friend in the making! Just as expected, she whips around and you get a better look at her features. Suddenly you are reclaimed by immobility and are drawn in by her face. It feels as though everything around you has also halted.

Terror.

Her face is beholden to a misery and terror unknowable to mortals. Framed in rust lashes, her eyes flash in luminous colors much like a yellowblood’s psiionics, which allows you to notice something hidden to you before. Previously masked by the scorching light of the flaming hives, the troll has about her a flickering aura of color while she hovers there. It is similar, but entirely different from the psionics you’ve witness on the likes of Azdaja and Kuprum. Her eyes bear a tiredness to surpass even Tyzias, and her face a sullen despair beyond all hope.

Although you cannot see her eyes for the strobing rainbow colors, you can tell that there is no mercy or remorse behind them. There is only jaded apathy. They may as well be empty. She’s just doing business. Nothing personal, not that she's contrite, but rather she's incapable of that kind of emotional attachment for it to be personal.

To see her is to accept upon yourself an anguish heavier than the world on Atlas’s shoulders. All at once you pity whatever has warped her to such a sad state, and fear her immensely.

Those sentiments are much like yourself, though. Short-lived. Although time seems to be dragging along, in reality you have only a few seconds to make these observations. With a flick of her wand, as simple and disinterested as swatting at a fly, she cuts her accoster down. From its tip erupts a blinding spectrum that engulfs you within no time at all. Energy courses through you like a conductor. Searing pain shooting through your body. She is an impersonal woman, wasting no time or intimacy in her killing. And as you fall to the ground, empty of life, she returns to her business as if never interrupted to begin with.

As you fade from the world, what greets you in the darkness is the terrifying maw of a giant skeleton. Eyes surging with color and power as they draw you inward. A pair of shittily drawn curtains shamble closed on your life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd do one of Xefros and Dammek too, but we don't know Dammek's quirk and we don't REALLY know his personality. I could make it up but... /shrug


End file.
